How difficult can it be
by oldmule
Summary: Added Epilogue after ch 4  Harry and Ruth aren't talking, how difficult can it be to say the simplest thing. Post 9.3
1. Chapter 1

**Post 9.3, ignoring the Lucas/Vaughan scenario.**

**Disclaimers as ever.**

"A fiver"

"Push the boat out, Tariq" said Lucas dismissively.

"All right , a tenner"

"What you doing?" Beth asked as she joined them by the coffee machine.

"Tariq, reckons that Harry'll be talking to Ruth again by tomorrow. I don't, or rather, I don't think she'll be talking to him."

"You didn't say that" protested Tariq.

"Well, that's not a very clear bet then is it?" concluded Beth.

"Ok, a tenner on them still not talking tomorrow, whoever's fault" Lucas clarified.

"Done" said Tariq.

* * *

Harry had spent most of the previous day snapping at her and Ruth was still decidedly unhappy with him, she was at least thankful that he'd spent the morning in meetings.

The situation was affecting everyone on the Grid. She knew that. The team were all unaware of what had caused the sudden friction between them, they had no idea about his proposal, nor her answer. What they did know was that the two of them were, ironically, bickering like the married couple they had refused to become. She actually stopped and laughed at the thought.

"Glad you're having a good time, Ruth" It was an icy blast that accompanied Harry as he crossed from the pods.

She shook her head and went back to her desk.

Harry sat down. He hated his own behaviour and yet everytime he vowed to be reasonable he heard himself say something ever more sarcastic and spiteful to her. What was wrong with him? "She said no, get over it." He said it out loud. Then he turned to pour a large whiskey.

Tariq walked to Lucas's desk and held out his hand. There was a sigh as Lucas dug in his wallet and pulled out a ten pound note. Tariq looked annoyingly smug. Ruth glanced up, curious.

"Tariq's just said he's going to nip out and get us all a proper coffee." Said Lucas as Tariq's smugness seeped away.

"What do you fancy, Ruth?"

"Actually, an earl grey would be lovely, thanks Lucas. Nice of you to go Tariq".

"No problem" he muttered as he crossed to the pods with various shouts of "latte' and 'espresso' ringing in his ears.

Ruth caught Lucas's eye "nice boy" she said quietly. Lucas smiled.

* * *

There was a knock at Harry's door.

Come in." He didn't look up straight away but when he did it was Ruth standing there. For a moment he just looked blankly at her.

"We really are in trouble now." He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

She looked at him a little confused and then realised he was referring to the fact that she hadn't just walked in, like normal. They were so far from normal.

"Harry, I need to ask you something?"

"If it's about work then go ahead"

"It's not"

He sighed. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

Ruth took a deep breath. She knew something had to be said, something had to change.

"When I said that it was easier to be open at work about who we are, I didn't expect it to be like this…. I didn't really want us…. I wanted to say that we…"

Despite himself he felt the hope flutter in his chest and hated himself for it.

"Harry, it's just that…."

Tariq opened the door.

"What!" screamed Harry banging his hand on the desk.

Tariq flinched. He'd done it again, walked in on them at the wrong moment. If he hadn't then maybe they would have made it up and be talking again and he could have claimed his tenner back. Bugger.

As it was he just said "I've brought Ruth her tea."

He stepped hesitantly across and passed the cup to Ruth. Harry was glaring at him.

"You brought Ruth her tea." Harry repeated calmly.

Tariq misunderstood "Oh sorry, I didn't get you one. I can always nip back out"

Through gritted teeth Harry replied "No thank you. I'm just fine" and then he looked up and smiled, but not in a good way, "Now, if you don't mind, Tariq".

Tariq walked back out onto the grid, noone looked at him but he did have the distinct impression that there were more than one pair of shoulders hunched, shaking with laughter as he went to sit down.

Harry tried to remain calm.

"Go on Ruth, you were saying"

What was she saying? She still didn't know the right words. Still didn't actually know what she wanted to tell him. She did want to say he was been childish and irritating and unprofessional and bloody minded and unreasonable and god, he hadn't stopped pouting for about a week and a half. But, you know what, she loved his pout. She loved him, even though he was being a sodding idiot. Maybe that was what she needed to tell him.

"Harry, you're being a sodding idiot" was all she got out before Lucas ran into the room. Harry was about to lose it in spectacular fashion until Lucas said "The Home Secretary has been taken. The kidnappers want to talk to you".

"Half a crown and they can have him" said Harry, but nonetheless he got up to follow Lucas, in his heart quite glad that he never got to hear the thing that followed 'Harry you're a bloody idiot" Actually whatever it was he couldn't disagree with the first part.

Ruth puffed her cheeks and again wondered if this just wasn't meant to be.

**Chapter 2 to come**


	2. Chapter 2

**A short Chapter 2 as I just want to get on with the juicier stuff. **

_How difficult can it be._

_Chapter 2_

No one group had taken responsibility for the kidnapping of the Home Secretary. They had only one demand at this moment in time and that was to meet with Sir Harry Pearce himself to agree terms. It was an unusual request. They had justified it with some line about CO19 being less likely to try and intervene if the head of section D was personally involved. He was sceptical. There was an add on to the request and that was that he was to be accompanied by his best analyst.

"Let's send Beth in with you" suggested Lucas.

"But she's.." Ruth jumped in

"a field agent, yes, Ruth. But that's what we need in there".

"Harry, they've specifically asked for an analyst, do you not think there's a reason for that?" said Ruth.

"Yes, I do and quite frankly I don't know what it is. I have no idea why they would want you" He truly did not mean it to sound as dismissive and damning as it came out.

"I mean, I don't know why they would want you specifically, Ruth and I think it is you that they want and that worries me".

Better, he thought.

That's the first nice thing you've said to me in a fortnight, she thought.

"Ok" said Lucas "The two of you go over there but obviously keep the negotiations over the coms and at a safe distance. We'll concentrate on who they are, what they really want.

They sat in the car silently, both thinking less about the Home Secretary and more about that unfinished sentence.

"No John today?" She asked. John being Harry's usual driver.

"He's sick. Food poisoning I think his wife said".

"I didn't know he was married" she said and as she said it she had that unsettling feeling that usually meant something significant.

Harry sensed that Ruth know something, he'd been there before too many times.

The car pulled off the road and into a closed off courtyard. The four sides of it were peppered with small potted shrubs and flower baskets, it really was quite pretty. Shame about the four masked men holding guns.

Tariq called across the Grid. "Harry's cars failed to turn up. It's signal's gone and I can't get a trace of Harry's or Ruth's phone and their coms are down."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They were in a large room with high ceilings. Their chairs, to which they were tied, were facing each other. They were both well aware of the last time they had been in this position. The last time George had died.

He didn't tell them his name, or who he was working for. He came into the room seemingly unarmed and stood there without saying anything.

Harry was impatient. "The kidnapping of the Home Secretary?"

"A mere distraction"

His accent had a hint of Eastern Europe, thought Harry.

Serb, Ruth guessed and a guess from Ruth was better than most's certainty.

"You are my main source of interest Sir Harry."

"If that's the case, then let the woman go. She's new and knows very little" Harry barely glanced at Ruth.

The man laughed "A very poor attempt, Sir Harry"

"I'll try and do better" he growled.

"I need you to give me the location of the plutonium you took from Iraq, the plutonium you double crossed the Americans with."

Oh my god, thought Ruth. How many more people had to die for that plutonium. She wished she had never been told about it, that George hadn't died for it, that she hadn't lost Nico because of it and that she could never get back to Harry because of the memories that accompanied it.

"I know you moved it and I know that you both know where it is. So one of you will tell me"

For more than a moment Harry wished he'd left the bloody stuff in Iraq. He wasn't so sure he would be able to cope with them hurting Ruth, he doubted his abilities to make the right decision.

"I know you are a hard man, Harry."

"Call me, Sir" said Harry with a cursory smile.

"I know you can watch people you care about suffer and still make the hard choices, I know you have held out under threat and torture. I know all these things. But there is one other thing I know."

'Pray tell" said Harry sarcastically.

"I know that whilst you can do these things," he spoke very slowly and crossed the room, standing behind Ruth, his hand now resting near her throat "that she most definitely cannot."

Harry clenched his jaw. Ruth's mind was already calculating his intent.

"So," he crouched alongside Ruth and smiled at her "I'm not going to hurt her because I don't believe you'll tell me if I do". He got up and moved slowly to Harry, leaning into his ear. "Instead I'm going to hurt you, I'm going to hurt you so bad that she will beg to tell me what I want. And she will beg and she will plead and she will do all that because she loves you".

There was a laugh. A cold laugh. An ironic laugh. Both men looked to Ruth. It had come from her.

"You know many things but there's one thing that your sources have let you down on. One very important thing. I do not, cannot, will never, love that heartless bastard".

Good Ruth, good, thought Harry. Not nice to hear but good.

The man smiled. She had surprised him but she was clearly bluffing. He stood and suddenly with one fluid movement backhanded Harry across the face. His lip split almost immediately. Ruth did not flinch, it was physically the single most difficult thing she'd ever had to do.

She laughed again. "Carry on, in fact whenever you get tired, untie me and it can be my turn".

The man crossed in front of Harry and unleashed the viscous jab of an elbow right into his nose. More blood.

"You don't seem to understand" she tried to sound calm and patient "how can I love the man who killed my husband, who made me lose my son, who took my life away? Why should I care what you do to him."

Harry glanced up at her, barely noticing the blood he was swallowing. This was all a little too close to the truth.

The man saw his look too. Ruth saw the look and continued. "He's a fool. He thinks that he can do all that, take all that and that I could still love him." Again she laughed, it was a laugh that sounded more bitter and disdainful by the minute.

She could still be bluffing. If she was, she was good at it. The man wasn't sure. He pushed Harry back in the chair and tore open the white shirt, soaked red from the blood still pouring from his nose. He walked towards Ruth so that she could see the knife he took from his pocket and he circled behind her watching her reflection in the window. Harry caught her eye and searched for something that told him she was only playing for time. There was nothing there but cold, hard, unforgiving eyes. Ruth could see the reflection too, besides if she in any way came out of character, out of this part she was playing, she was afraid she would never retrieve it. She just hoped the bluff would indeed buy them enough time.

* * *

The team were going through everything they had. All signals had been blocked way before Harry's car had got to the courtyard. Tariq was going through all CCTV feeds. The number plate recognition technology which he had was working well but then the car's plates were changed or masked and they had disappeared.

* * *

The tip of the knife was slicing through Harry's chest. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were open and fixed but not on Ruth. She picked a point on his shoulder blade that was free of blood and threw her focus so she wasn't really seeing it. The man paused from his labours and again caught her reflection, she was just staring at Harry with detached concentration.

"You know what" she said "he even asked me to marry him, can you believe that"

again the laugh. "Oh, I was good. I let him down gently, even though I wanted to laugh in his face, spit in his face for killing my George, my husband." She was getting more animated, angry and bitter. "How dare he! How dare he think he could come anywhere near to him, a beautiful, gentle, loving man, that's what my husband was. Not some heartless monster, who's smells of desperation and loneliness."

The man was starting to believe. She had shown not one ounce of compassion. He lit a cigarette and gazed at the crosshatch of cuts across the chest that had been his work for the last fifteen minutes. Harry's eyes were lowered, he seemed much less defiant now. It was funny how the woman's words had cut him much more than the knife. He strolled to the window.

Perhaps if she wouldn't tell him the location of the plutonium out of love for the famous Sir Harry then she might do it out of spite and loathing. He turned and said "You really don't care about him?" and as he said it he studied her face whilst he pressed the cigarette end into Harry's forearm. There was a slight wince but that was all he would show. Ruth again picked a point just above his elbow and looked beyond and concentrated solely on what she could do next. As she smelt his flesh burn her stomach turned and she had to quash her desire to scream.

"No, I really don't. Glad to see you've finally got the message."

"So, I suppose you won't tell me where the plutonium is, to save him?"

"No." She said and smiled.

"But I might tell you if I were to see twenty million US in a Swiss account and if you were to let me have a go with that knife."

The man raised his eyebrows.

"Let's face it I have no life here. They've only ever taken from me, maybe it's my turn to do the taking. I get the money, you get the plutonium and poor old Sir Harry gets a heroic exit whilst doing his duty for queen and country, . Everyone's a winner." She smiled.

**More to come, hopefully a little less angst ridden!**

**Can't remember if it was plutonium, or uranium, or whatever so excuse any errors on that part.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 AND ADDED EPILOGUE  
**

They were alone.

Harry was still.

Ruth stared.

The room was silent.

Harry moaned very quietly. He had shown little outward sign of all the physical pain he had been subjected to. He hurt, but it wasn't the marks on his chest that cut the deepest. At first he was quite convinced she was playing for time but the longer that time went on the more credible she was and now…..now? He raised his head, with some effort and looked at her.

She thought they were the saddest eyes she'd ever seen.

"Ruth?"

She looked him square in the face and laughed, shaking her head slightly.

"The last laugh's on me _Sir_ Harry." She said with total disdain.

He looked at her for a moment and she knew she was good, she knew it had convinced him, she knew it had broken him. Harry couldn't see the CCTV camera that was behind him. He didn't know, unlike Ruth, that they were still being watched, judged, that this was the final test. The only thing he knew was that all he had held that was good and true and kind was gone. His head slowly sank to his chest, his eyes the last to leave her. Betrayed.

Many minutes past.

Harry never looked up again.

The door opened and their captor strolled back in. He crossed to Ruth and released her hands.

"The money is being moved." He said simply.

He turned to Harry and took out the knife. He was standing before him but then he turned back and smiled at Ruth "I believe you wanted the honours?" and he held out the knife to her.

She took it and walked over to Harry.

'Lucas where are you?', was all she could think. 'Please come now, please come now, please come now' it was like a mantra she repeated over and over in her head.

She stood over him and held the knife to his chest.

He looked up and then slowly he began to lean forward.

His eyes were locked on hers, his face had a gentle smile and he leant into the knife.

She felt the tip pierce his skin.

He closed his eyes.

Her hand fell away from him.

Their assailant looked questioningly at her. There was doubt there.

"I suppose I'm not as much of a heartless bastard as him. "

She smiled and then plunged the knife into the Serb's stomach.

"Or maybe I lie" she thrust further and he staggered back.

At that precise moment the shots rang out.

Shouting.

Firing.

Movement.

Lucas.

"Harry!" she screamed but Lucas was dragging her away. The house was partially secured and he wanted them out of there. Harry was been carried out and taken straight to the medics.

"But Lucas you have to let me see Harry"

Shots were fired and Lucas pushed her to the floor.

"There were four of them at least when we got here".

"Stay down" said Lucas and flung himself round the corner firing as he fell.

* * *

She walked out of the house with Lucas. It was now locked down.

"Where is he?"

"They've taken him to the medical centre at base to be patched up."

"Lucas, I have to see him, I said some terrible things and I thought he'd know that I was lying but the look in his eyes, Lucas please, please, take me to him" She began to sob "he can't think that..he thinks I hate him…how could he believe that…how could I hate him?"

Lucas took her hands "If he thinks that, then he _is_ a bloody idiot!" He smiled.

"Come On."

* * *

She walked onto the Grid. She was shaking. Harry had been stitched up and then walked out. No one knew where he was. "

Is he on the roof?" She asked Lucas as he came in.

"No and I checked the Embankment."

She began to cry.

He steered her into Harry's office.

"What happened Ruth?"

"They were going to hurt Harry to make me tell them where the plutonium was because they said that I loved him and I wouldn't be able to watch them torture him. So I did what Harry would do and I tried to buy us time, time for you to find us." She garbled and sobbed out the words almost incoherently in a desperate desire to tell the truth of the situation. "I told them that I didn't love him, in fact I hated him for ruining my life. But he is my life, Lucas…. he is..he's _all_ my life." She stifled a sob. Lucas held her hand. "I thought he'd know, I thought he'd understand but the longer it went on the more he believed like they did. And then… then… they left us and I knew they were still watching so I had to keep hating him. He was so hurt and I couldn't tell him, I couldn't tell him it was all lies, that I didn't mean any of it.

Then I had the knife and he just looked at me and my heart was breaking for him and it was like I'd killed all that was Harry just with my words, like I'd broken him. And then I stabbed him, I stabbed that bastard who'd hurt him and I stuck him as hard as I could and I hated him and I wanted him to die for what he'd made me do to Harry."

She stopped and just cried.

"Lucas, he'll never forgive me. "

"Ruth, he'll forgive you because he loves you."

"Not anymore he won't" she sniffled

"I think I'll be the judge of that" said a voice from the doorway.

Lucas let go of Ruth's hand and stepped out of the office squeezing Harry's arm caringly as he left, he closed the door behind him.

"Harry… I…" she gazed at him, his bruised, swollen face, the small signs of blood that had seeped through from the bandages under his clean shirt.

He had heard much of what Ruth had said.

"You're a born spook, Ruth"

"Harry, I didn't mean any of it, you must know that?"

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Not even about George, about what I took from you?"

"No. I just…needed to be credible"

"You were that Ruth, you were certainly that" He was too quiet, still hurting, still not totally convinced.

"Harry, please"

He wasn't sure he could do this after all. He turned away, out of the office and back towards the pods.

She didn't see his back as he walked away, all she saw was the look in his eyes as he gazed at her and leant in to welcome the knife.

He was nearly at the pods.

"Harry, for god's sake, I love you. I could love no one more that you. I _have_ loved no one more than you."

He still hadn't turned, he was still on the way out, just paused.

She sucked in another breath of air and ploughed on "I would love nothing more that to marry you, Harry. That's if you still want me, if holding a knife to your chest isn't the kind of thing that puts a man off."

He turned now and there were tears rolling down his face. The entire Grid had stopped and were silently witnessing the scene, not wanting to make a sound so that they didn't endanger this moment.

"But I'm not living in Sussex" she said, half laugh, half sob.

"I never mentioned Sussex" was all he said.

They stood for a moment still yards apart and then he opened his palms out towards her and she crossed the Grid and fell into his arms. He had not known such exquisite pain. A myriad of cuts on his chest, groaned at the pressure but he would have endured a thousand others to hold Ruth like this.

She looked up "Does that hurt?"

"No" he shook his head and then kissed her.

She pulled away from the kiss "your lip?"

"Doesn't hurt. Just kiss me, Ruth."

She did.

Everyone dropped their heads and tried to look busy.

Tariq leant over to Lucas "Tenner, they're late in to work tomorrow".

EPILOGUE

He opened his tired eyes and her face radiated before him.  
"Am I dreaming?"  
"No, Harry. I'm real"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Feel me"  
He reached out a hand under the sheets.  
"Yes, you're real, Ruth" He smiled as he pulled her to him.  
"Still think you're dreaming? "  
"Oh, yeah." He started to kiss her the nape of her neck. "And I have very, very vivid dreams, Ruth"  
"Mmmm, glad to hear it" She ran her hands down his back.  
"I'll show you, shall I?" His tongue slid to her earlobe.  
"I'm not too sure" she said, pulling back a little. "I'll have to ask my boss first. See if he's ok with me going in a little late this morning"  
"Trust me, he'll say yes." He said seriously.  
"Then show me now and I'll let him debrief me later" She smiled and kissed him.  
"Promises, promises, Ruth"


End file.
